For some strange reason, I hadn’t posted this on tumblr yet.
A few days ago, I started to have anxiety attacks at work. I had gotten a low-hour schedule and started to worry about finances. One thing led to another, and I got hit with a sudden fear: I may never be able to achieve the one dream I have had since a little girl. That dream was to make art my job. I’ve never really cared about what exactly I did; I just wanted to have a job doing something I was genuinely passionate about. But I’m 24 years old. I only have an associate’s degree. I’m in a town where none of the colleges really have an art degree I could actually get a job with.
When I got home, I randomly started rummaging through my storage room. I grabbed several knives, and thoughts of cutting crossed my mind. Not to kill myself, but cutting can release chemicals that are supposed to generate a bit of a high. Startled by this, I dropped them and huddled on my bed, worried that I even considered such a thing.
Something drew me to reach out to my Hetherev buddies, and they about had a sht fit on me about it (in a good way!) DrakhanLord gave me advice to kick my drive back in. Marky told me about a site where I can get on as a children’s book Illustrator, and I’m prepping a portfolio for it now. Boltyhound told me of her own personal experiences on the matter, and MadMeeper and FireChomerTree gave me some great encouraging words. All-in-all, they came together to help out a friend who was going through a very rough time.
I don’t care what others say.
The strength and quality of a friendship is not inversely measured by the distance between the people. Sometimes, those who are right next to you just can’t understand what you’re going through, while people from across the globe understand it all. And even if they don’t, they are willing to simply be there for you, as a ear to talk into and a shoulder to cry on.
And I count myself among the luckier folk to have joined Hetherev, and met all the people in it that I have. To anyone who says that they aren’t true friends just because I’ve never met them, ask yourself why it is that physical existence matters. Because it doesn’t to me.